Lessons The Ford has learned to open December:

1.) There is a time and place for an extremely drunk stripper. 12:30 at the bar is not it.

2.) Never let said stripper get ahold of your cell phone.

3.) Never take your beverage back to the VIP room with you. Bad things will happen.

4.) Never visit a gentleman's club alone. If for no other reason, someone must remain behind to watch the beer.

5.) Save the beer, save the world.

6.) Always accept rides from beautiful women.

7.) Accepting the relative rarity of such offers, always carry gloves and a warm hat.

8.) On a night with bitter cold and a biting wind, a good bowl of chili and slice of pie can make the night seem neither that cold, nor that biting.