Part III

OK, it's Hawaiian Vacation time! Are you excited?!? The Ford knows he is!

Oh, wait, he's done with the vacation.

All that's left is the post-mortem... Dr. Ford, the highlights, if you please....

Wednesday, aka, Day 1
Pretty much covered by the travelogue, but getting carded/rejected at the Hard Rock Cafe certainly cast a, um, sober pall over the weekend. Thanks, Aussie waitress. Y'know, in this country, we accept a fella's ID if the photo and the b-day's right, even if it's expired. And you wonder why The Ford was double-timing his consumption of Mountain Dew.

Thursday, aka, Day 2

Dinner at Bubba Gump: Three things come to mind:
1.) The "Shrimper's Heaven" platter is hardly heavenly when you're leaving out the shrimp cocktail. Though those were some truly outstanding hushpuppies.
2.) No carding here. Despite a group of 4 20-somethings obviously giddy with being in Hawaii. Suck it, Ms. Aussie.
3.) Nothing's quite as fun as being able to get your entire table to salute a random Coug fan walking by, wearing a WSU hat. Go Cougs.

Post-dinner: More of The Official Rules of The Official Blog.
Never go grocery shopping when you're dehydrated. You'll probably end up buying 11 different varieties of beverage. It's like the hot-weather version of shopping stoned. Except that you end up buying a bottle of Gatorade Rain, rather than a jumbo bag of Cheetos. The Ford will leave it up to you, dear reader, to decide which is more embarassing.

If you must buy a straw hat, make sure you're with someone buying an even more outrageous straw hat, the same way a slightly-above-average gal hanging out with some, um, less-than-attractive gals all'uva'sudden becomes a semi-hottie. For example, The Ford bout a straw golf hat. But his buddy, well, he bought a Panama hat. (FYI, it's a Panama for the type of straw, and not for the makers.) Yeah, The Ford was not the semi-hottie in that exchange, sad to say.

Pick and choose your World Cup games carefully. There's nothing wrong with staying awake for U.S.-Ghana. But Ukraine-Tunisia? When you've got a luau (with all-you-can-drink alcohol) and an impromptu bachelor party (with all-you-can-afford alcohol)? Discretion is the better part of valor, there, young fella, and, boy, does The Ford wish he'd thought about that.