Monday, June 26, 2006

Much, much more blogging to do on the final three days of The Official Hawaiian Vacation, but The Ford just can't get into it, sitting here in the Las Vegas airport.

Actually, The Ford had a lot of plans for his Vegas layover that he's just not up for after a 6-hour red-eye flight from Maui.

For example, there was the possibility of a strip-club visit. (This is what a week -- including a bachelor party -- on the one Hawaiian island without a strip club will do to a man.) But, really, for all his faults, The Ford is not the kind of guy who can go to a strip club at 9 a.m. Yet.

At least, not in an unfamiliar town, where he'd pretty much be walking up to a cab driver and saying, "Take me to the nearest strip club."

At 9 a.m.

That, dear readers, is just about where The Ford draws the line. Seriously.

So, instead, he'll just power up The Official Laptop, and wait out the layover from heck.

Of course, this is just one of the things The Ford's not doing. The others?

1.) Hitting the decent Borders Express outside of the security check.

2.) Eating something -- anything -- after going all of yesterday with nary a meal. (Thanks, America West, for your generous gift of honey roasted peanuts.)

3.) Leaving the airport to throw money away -- ahem -- at a casino.

4.) Throwing money away inside the airport, at one of the hundreds of slot machines here.

5.) Buying the first WSU hat he's seen on sale outside of the Northwest in years. (It's white, and says "Wazzu" in giant letters. It's also nestled in between the "Cocks" and "Hairy Dawg" hats. This is what the proud name of Wazzu has come to? It's almost enough to make one agree with ol' V.Lane a few years ago, were one able to travel back in time just to change one's opiniions, and not, you know, kill Hitler or something.

6.) Assaulting anyone with a Chihuahua, dead or otherwise, in the airport or out, which is more than The Ford can say for this woman.

7.) Getting up to see if they've finally posted what gate his flight's departing from. Oh wait, that's what The Ford's doing now.

Thus Procrastinateth The Ford


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