Y'know, I'm sure 'what happens in vegas' is a perfectly nice movie, but I just can't take seriously any film whose promotional color scheme and typography seem stolen from a Taco Bell commercial. Plus, Ashton Kutcher.

Thus sayeth The Ford

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Commercial shoot downtown! It's like a real city!

Thus sayeth The Ford

Y'know, as much as I like a clean phone, perhaps 'polishing my iPhone' should just be a euphemism.

Thus sayeth The Ford

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In the sprit of The Officia Alma Mater's Sweet 16 game on Thursday, it's The Once and Future Official Ringtone of The Ford, in non-convienient video form:

Go Cougs!

The Official Alma Mater's in -- natch -- and with a four-seed, no less.

Of course, this means The Official Alma Mater will be most folks' trendy pick for a 4/13 upset.

 Oy, such is the life for the Cougs.

It's over. 

The Ford would be full of vitriol, but, really, the Cardinal didn't win this one; the Cougs lost it. A slightly better performance from Baynes, some free throws at key times, some defense -- which they WILL be practicing between tonight and Thursday -- and the Cougs might have pulled it out.

On to the Sweet 16!

Yep, at this point, it's just Kyle Weaver and The Ford dialed in to the Coug game -- OK, The Official Girlfriend's likely watching, too -- and even The Ford's getting drawn away by the tales of sex acts by Comerica Park patrons, as told by Tiger Club workers...

Thank YOU, Official Bar...

11 points?!?

Motherfuckers!

On the bright side, it looks like Stanford is setting up everyone up for another bracket-busting loss. No way The Official Nerd Herd is getting past the second round, since they won't be matched up with the Cougs again...

Must. Not. Comment. Again. On. Cougs'. Inability. To. Shoot. Free. Throws.

On the bright side -- according to a sign in the stands -- it's snowing in Pullman. Explains the cheerleaders' gloves, at least.

And Kyle Weaver, amazingly hits, two FTs. The Ford is stunned. 

And through it all, The Official Alma Mater's still down by 7. 

This here's a losing battle, unless the defense shows up...

So ... Schadenfreude is the German term for "shameful joy" -- a feeling of happiness derved from someone else's failure. 

What's the Germans' term for the feeling of Daven Harmeling finally scoring again, followed by seeing one of the Lopezeseseses pull down a board, put up a shot, get the points AND the foul, all against 3 Cougs.

Probably the same term for seeing Derrick Low make an amazing steal, fight for the ball near half-court, then make a sprawling outlet pass to ANOTHER Coug spawled on the flood. How the hell did the Cougs maintain possession?

Aron Baynes, something tells The Ford you're headed to Pete Newell's Big Man Camp. 

For the love of Butch T. Cougar, stop fouling!

Lee cannot be stopped, and a certain WSU cheerleader is VERY excited. Pert, almost.

Ladies and gentlemen, we're riding the Lee-Train...

Correction: The Lopez twins only have 21 points.

Yeah, The Ford feels so much better now.

On the bright side, Harmeling's taking his mighty 3 points to the bench. 

Also fun: this half, it's Stanford 5, WSU 2, in 4-plus minutes of play. 

Somewhere -- possibly in L.A. -- Dick Bennett is smiling.

Wait, Derrick Lee hits the 3!  COOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUGS!

30 freakin' points from the Lopez twins? 

The only answer?

More Cowgill!

(OK, really, it's more Rochestie, but that doesn't have an SNL skit to go with it.)

Ah, the nightly Official Angry Aron Baynes Walk To The Bench....

It's late tonight, especially considering he's got more fouls than points and rebounds combined. 

Enjoy your night, Lopez twins. 

And oy, now it's Cowgill for Kopvrica... can FSN's graphic on Croatians in the Pac-10 be far behind?

Halftime, and The Official Alma Mater's only down by 4. The Ford's been worse off. 

Then again, the Cougs are shooting 75% from the 3-point line. That can't last, can it.

Damn, the Georgia Dome. God hates the Crimson Tide, apparently...

OK, time to study the Hooters ad ... er... stats online....

The Official Nerd Herd's commercial? A cat chasing a laser pointer.

This is why they invented Google, and The Official Alma Mater invented broadcast journalism. 

Maybe.

Want to know why The Ford loves Pac-10 hoops? 

Right now, The Official Alma Mater and The Official Nerd Herd have combined to go 8-for-13 on free throws, and 8-for-11 on 3-pointers. That's right, they're all better shooters from 20 feet than from 10. Long live the Pac-10!

We've got a Daven Harmeling sighting! He now has more points than in his last three games combined. 

Random thoughts:

Thank God the lone cheerleader who keeps showing up on screen for the Cougs has a nice rack. She's like a one-woman recruting poster.

Also, why, exactly, do the Coug cheerleaders now have gloves? It's cold in Pullman, but, y'know, this game is in Los Angeles. (Yes, there's a slutty cheerleader joke in there somewhere, but The Ford's not making it till The Official Alma Mater's down by 20, God forbid.)

FSN must have spent all of $30 on their illustration of where all the Cougs came from, and yet they've shown it six times this season. I think we know how Rupert Murdoch is getting paid.

Up, 13-8 at one point, the Cougs are down 24-17 with a full seven minutes left in the first. Yes, that's a 16-5 run for The Official Nerd Herd of the Official Conference of The Ford.

The Ford would be much more virulent in railing against the Cardinal, but he's pretty sure they have access to Terminator technology. That scares The Ford.

Aron Baynes kinda makes The Ford want to stab his eyes out, or at least burn any Crocodile Dundee memorabilia he can get his hands on. 7 feet tall, and he can't shoot free throws, stop an opposing FORWARD, or rebound. 

Meanwhile, D-Lee has me looking for a grass skirt to wear.

OK, while the brand-new Official Mac works on an iphone update in the Official Bar, The Ford's gonna try his hand at some of this here live-bloggin' stuff during The Official Alma Mater's deathmatch with the Cardinal.

We've already seen almost 10 minutes of profiles on the Cougs prior to the game.

Normally, The Ford would say any publicity is good publicity, but there's something depressing about realizing it's all running tonight so FSN can save the Stanford stuff for tomorrow night's Pac-10 title game. Fuckers.

We've also already seen the Cougs' lone free ad, the always entertaining "Rwanda" ad.

Ephiphany: Perhaps the reason the Cougs have stunk at basketball for so long is that we keep sending kids to Africa to help with coffee growth, and not getting any in return.

Oh, and while we're ruminating on the female form, let's give it up for The Official NL Team acquiring some major-league talent --in the stands -- over the offseason.

http://umpbump.com/press/hot-baseball-wife-alejandra-tejada/#more-1956

Granted, she's no Mrs. Jose Lima, but then again, who is?

Thus sayeth The Ford

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The Fashion Police

The Ford bought a new suit a while back, round about a month ago.

(Suffice to say, The Ford's hazy on the date, save that it was the same day as the Michigan sports hall of fame induction ceremonies, the occasion neccessitating the new duds.)

He looks GOOD in The Official Suit, and he hasn't even broken out The Official Second Shirt/Tie Combo, much less The Official Third.

Nevertheless, The Ford's stuck with a peculiar sense of failure, for, really, doesn't EVERY guy look good in a suit?

That's why we wear them, after all -- the pleasure of looking good without particularly having to think about it.

Really, it's The Official Gender's lone leg up on the fairer sex. (And, yes, The Ford thought long and hard before giving masculinity the Official Nod. Not that he was thinking about switching sides, but The Ford's quite fond of the perks and pleasures the gals bring to his bloggy life. Nevertheless, Wazzu's The Official Alma Mater, The Freep's The Official Employer, and XY is The Official Chromosomal Combo of The Official Blog of The Ford. Though any attempts by the ladies to sway those officialities are always appreciated.)

Anyway, it's The Official Gender's lone leg up, except for this: The lasses look just as lovely suitclad as we do.

Better, even.

We can't win. And we can't all wear kilts.

Thus sayeth The Ford

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