As The Ford sits in The Official Bar and watches the PAC-10's game of the night, he's forced to conclude he hates all the other schools. Other than the Beavers.

For who can hate the Beavers?

Thus sayeth The Ford

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Ye gods, the NBA is a depressing place for The Ford.

Not only is The Official Team loaded with talent and so abysmal that they're headed for the no.3 pick this year, but there's almost no doubt they're moving to Oklahoma Fucking City.

Normally, this would not be quite so depressing, but The Official Alma Mater's hoops prowess has The Ford a.) caring and b.) able to recognize good basketball.

Andrew Bynum is kind of a monster. That's the lesson The Ford's taking from ESPN's Friday night hoops-cast.

Perhaps Kevin Durant and The Official NBA Team will return to said telecast someday before they move to OKFC.

Thus sayeth The Ford

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Deep within the college basketball season, The Official Beard of The Official Blog of The Ford slumbers. It waits, it waits for when it will be needed.

The Citadel? Idaho State? Hardly.

No, the powerful mojo of The Official Beard has been lying in wait for this weekend, for The Official Alma Mater's swing through Los Angeles, also known as The Official Season-Killer.

But this year, this year, The Ford's breaking out The Official Beard, now seven weeks strong without so much as a hair trimmed.

Behold, Trojans and Bruins, the power of a mighty man-mane, especially as The Ford watches Thursday live from The Official Martini Bar of The Official City of Residence of The Official Blog of The Ford.

Go Cougs.

Thus sayeth The Ford

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Things The Ford is wondering:

-- Why the front-runner for both parties' presidential candidacies is determined by a douche in a sport coat counting hands in an Iowa middle school.

-- Why Republican Mike Huckabee is one of the said front-runners, while Democrat John Edwards runs third.

-- Why Fox's Jeannie Zelasko reminds The Ford of a stripper ever so slightly past her prime.

-- Why The Ford agreed to be featured in The Official Employer's feature on interesting desk decorations tomorrow.

-- Why The Ford's interests in hockey and rock seem dominated by Swedes: in hockey, it's the Wings-Stars game that featured 11 Swedes; in rock, it's the combined brilliance of The Hives and Jens Lekman.

Thus sayeth The Ford

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