Sunday, February 19, 2006

Because I know everyone likes a good brain-teaser (and because I'm too lazy to find a Web link to write about), it's time for the "Welcome to Detroit" version of:
"Bar ... or titty bar?"

Here's 30 Detroit clubs. Can you guess which ones feature skimpily dressed women prancing around ... and which ones are strip clubs?

(Disclaimer: I haven't actually been to all of these places, whether they be bar or titty bar. But I hear things. And see things. Y'know?)

1.) Anchor Bar
2.) The Grind
3.) Diamonds & Pearls Social Club
4.) The Town Pump
5.) The Sunset Strip
6.) Bouzouki's
7.) Fishbone's
8.) Harry's
9.) Slows
10.) BT's
11.) The Parthenon Club
12.) Hard Body
13.) The Zoo
14.) The Toy Chest
15.) Mosaic
16.) The Apartment
17.) The Flight Club
18.) The Old Shillelagh
19.) The Landing Strip
20.) The Crazy Horse
21.) Marilyn's on Monroe
22.) The End Zone
23.) Elysium Lounge
24.) The Magic Stick
25.) Club Venus
26.) Sting
27.) Envy
28.) The Post
29.) Cas
30.) Bookies

The answers below are tiny and in light gray type. You may need to copy and paste the whole block to be able to read them well.

Good luck!

1.) Anchor Bar -- Bar
2.) The Grind -- Titty bar (across the street from my building!)
3.) Diamonds & Pearls Social Club (Appears to be a bar on my block, though the name, the two-story nature of the club, and the darkened windows makes me wonder.)
4.) The Town Pump -- Bar (Though allegedly packed with hot bartenders)
5.) The Sunset Strip -- Titty bar
6.) Bouzouki's -- Titty bar (appropriately named for Greektown, don't ya think?)
7.) Fishbone's -- Bar
8.) Harry's -- Bar
9.) Slows -- Bar
10.) BT's -- Titty bar
11.) The Parthenon Club -- Titty bar (Though one with a reportedly solid kitchen and a big-ass jumbotron screen outside)
12.) Hard Body -- Titty bar (Or so I assume from the 30-foot-tall woman in neon on the sign)
13.) The Zoo -- Little from column A, little from column B (bottom floor is regular bar, upstairs is titty bar)
14.) The Toy Chest -- (Come on, you KNOW this is a titty bar.)
15.) Mosaic -- Bar (Though one with some of the hottest women I've ever seen waiting to get inside)
16.) The Apartment -- Bar (also located tantalizingly close to home for me)
17.) The Flight Club -- Titty bar (investor in this full-page color ad in the Freep and the News during Super Bowl week, featuring the ravishing Tera Patrick:

18.) The Old Shillelagh -- Bar
19.) The Landing Strip -- Titty bar, and apparently affiliated with The Flight Club
20.) The Crazy Horse -- Titty bar
21.) Marilyn's on Monroe -- Bar (with giant posters of Marily Monroe everywhere)
22.) The End Zone (Actually, this one's a trick question; it's actually a restaurant catering to people pouring out of downtown bars and titty bars. But, still, it SOUNDS like a titty bar, don't it?)
23.) Elysium Lounge -- Bar
24.) The Magic Stick -- Bar (renowned for its live acts, including, you guessed it, The White Stripes)
25.) Club Venus -- Titty bar (and the southern-most border of the hookers' preferred area on Michigan Avenue, from what I've gathered on some late-night food runs)
26.) Sting -- Titty bar (like so many others, also on Michigan Avenue. For some reason, the sheer number of cars with "rims" parked out front frightens me. I may be a racist. Perhaps I need to check this out.)
27.) Envy -- Bar (where all the young ladies like to come downtown and shake their laffy taffy for free)
28.) The Vault -- Bar
29.) Cas -- Bar
30.) Bookies -- Bar


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