Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Next up in my quest to fill a blog without ever leaving my office:

My trip to the vending machine!

Overall, pretty uneventful, except for my discovery of these, um, sweet ladies staring up at me from a pack of Twinkies:

That's right. They're the Race Divas.
A little more investigation led me to this:
Hostess is using them to pimp out Twinkies. Or is that using Twinkies to pimp them out?
You can probably recognize the gal out front -- everybody's favorite auto racing poster girl, Danica Patrick.
But who's that behind her?
On the left, Melanie Troxel is a racer on the NHRA circuit (its motto: our fast cars are more phallic than your fast cars) with some apparently impressive credentials, if you get excited about folks who drive really, really fast for 10 seconds.
More interesting (to me, at least) is that Melanie, 33, is not a movie person, but does like "House" and "Grey's Anatomy" on TV. Also, her favorite Hostess treat is Ding Dongs.
I. Can. Avoid. Making. A. Joke. About. That.
Really, I can.
The other chick? That's Leilani Munter, a would-be up-and-comer in stock car racing.
She turns 30 on Satuday! That's right in my wheelhouse! Happy birthday, Leilani!
Other notable Leilani-istics...
(Are we close enough, after my birthday shoutout, to be on a first-name basis? Should I be calling these Munter-istics? Who can say?)
She's really petite (5-foot-4, 105 pounds) and loves Napoleon Dynamite and Office Space, as well as the Daily Show.
Apparently, Hostess is running a dating service for yours truly.
Damn! She prefers Cupcakes in the Hostess world. Ours is a love not meant to be.

OK, all kidding aside... (well, most kidding aside -- I know where my bread is buttered.)
They're also pushing an instant win game called, (I am not making this up...) "Treats & Tracks" This is only slightly less wrong than their original name, "Fruit pies and fur pies."

By the way, I am not an instant winner.
I got this highly personal message from Danica, though, so I'm feeling good about it:

Maybe if the whole "King of All Media-Involving-Words" thing doesn't work out, I can get something going with her. Her favorite treat is HoHo's...



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