Friday, February 10, 2006

So, I've been watching the Olympic opening cermony for what seems like 6 hours. (It only gets better on a 6-hour tape delay, NBC!), and this comes to mind.
What the hell is wrong with Italy that they couldn't fill three hours with their own damn music. 90 minutes of disco and rehashed and remixed 80's hits for the teams to walk into the stadium? You can find guys willing to strap flamethrowers to their heads and skate in formation, and some dude to dance around in a mohawk and a leotard, but you can't get a couple of local boys to compose some nice, respectful, perhaps-even-dramatic, music?
You're done. Sure, your Games will be good. You may even entertain some folks with your native charm and friendliness, you romantic language and reputation as "The Detroit of Italy." (Though something tells me this guy: might dispute some of Italy's tourist-friendly image)
But you're done. No more big honkin' international sporting competitions for you. No more tourist dollars. No more $8.50 paninis (Did you check out the link? Then that makes sense.)
Cause if at least 500 years of pretty decent civilization hasn't given you anything better than borrowing "YMCA" from us, you should not be part of the global community. I mean, Europe, you're on notice: Dislike us. Distrust us. Shut us out of the leadership of the IOC. Fine. But stay the hell away from our disco music.

Along these lines, I'm still burning over the NFL's insane decision to relegate the Motown Sound to the opening act for the Super Bowl. National anthem was fine -- they worked 'Retha in there, so they live. But importing the Rolling Stones? This is America. You're hosting a Super Bowl in a city that's had almost everything taken from it in the past three decades, save its musical heritage, and you can't have STEVIE FRICKIN' WONDER as your halftime act? The Four Tops? The Temptations? The pretenders who are pretending to be The Four Tops and The Temptations?
Who wouldn't love that?
I mean, if we've now committed to having halftime acts older than the actual game, let's try to get ones that are relevant to the town the game's in.
And, oh yeah ... Phoenix? Good luck next year when the NFL dusts off the Platters.


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