I now understand how other people must feel when I go on and on about competitive eating on TV.
Dog Show! I'm amazed my ears aren't bleeding after listening to some coworkers discuss how a "favorite" in Westminster got screwed in the judging.

I think we all have to agree that the only non-sports worth watching in a sports department are:
1.) Spelling bees
Everyone likes spelling bees. Especially at a newspaper; they've got the spectre of competition applied to spelling, something we do every day. Hooray.
2.) Great Outdoor Games
Perhaps not as much of a consensus, but events like the Lake Jump for dogs and the Log Rolling for humans are entrancing.
3.) Cheerleading competitions (preferably colleges)
Women get something they're familiar with, and they can comment on dress, hairstyles and smile width. Men get young, nubile women bouncing around and making random loud noises.

Everybody wins.