Sunday, July 02, 2006

Yes, it's an international week here in the 313, what with GM facing a "merger" with Nissan and 50 Cent's 50-foot-tall Vitamin Water ad being replaced with a 50-foot-tall ad for Heineken.

Oh, and there's the World Cup, which pretty soon, all of metro Detroit will go nuts for. Probably. If we get to host any games. (Fresh off the Super Bowl, and the bid for the 2016 Olympics, how could FIFA possibly reject Detroit's bid to host all the 2014 games at Ford Field?)

Speaking of the World Cup, The Ford came up with an odd theory: Consider the performance of teams in the World Cup as a metaphor for how uninformed American men -- y'know, like The Ford -- view women from other countries.
Thus Brazil is always hot till the end, but loses points for caring more about being appealing, and not enough about, um, actually scoring.
Thus Italy seems like a bunch of drama queens, but are actually pretty hot, if you catch them at the right time.
Thus France hasn't particularly aged well, but is pulling it together at the right time, in a way that leaves us semi-excited, if you catch the (mostly hidden) meaning.
Thus England is full of proud scorers who seem mostly to focus on their recent lack of success.
Thus Sweden is full of blondes that promise excitement, but mostly just leave us sitting on the couch thinking, "Is that all there is?"
Thus the U.S. is highly ranked entering the tournament on technical ability, but struggles on being loose and uninhibited.
Thus no one can quite tell the Japanese and the South Koreans apart, but is unwilling to admit it.
Thus no one thinks much of the Australians, unless confronted with them, at which time, we're perfectly delighted they're around, and more-or-less insane.
Thus Germany is incredibly Teutonic and incredibly thrilling, at least until one realizes one's cheering for Germans. Who are really tall.

Finally, back on this side of the pond, as the holiday weekend sorta hits, and The Ford recovers from sitting in traffic in The Official Truck for almost 10 minutes, within half-a-block of The Official Apartment, he brings you this public service announcement about the " dark side of the strip club life."

Let no one say The Ford's not fair and balanced when it comes to posting links.

Of particular note: the odd smiles on the faces of the gals arrested for indecent exposure.

Something tells The Ford they may have covered their fine with tip money.

At least, The Ford certainly hopes so.


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