Saturday, July 15, 2006

That sound you hear?

Why, that's just The Ford doing some dancing...

Some Major League dancing, if you catch The Official Drift...

Yes, he's doin' the ...

The Finneroni -- over lame-duck Times columnist Bob Finnegan apparently putting together a future Mariners squad of Tony Batista, Darin Erstad, Gary Matthews Jr., Adam Eaton, and Kelvin Escobar. (Not to mention the possibility of Gil Meche getting $10M in free agency. )

The Twist -- over the possible application of Sabermetrics to bosom quality. Y'know, so that we finally be able to agree on The Official Measuring Stick for Nikki Cox vs. Detroiter Kristen Bell. (Which is actually the name for my ..., er, that is to say, hey, wow, "measuring stick" and "Cox" in the same sentence, and no snickering laughter. How ... edited.)

The Lambada -- Also known as "The Forbidden Dance," over finally starting to believe that The Tigers might have an unfettered shot at the playoffs beyond the first round, thanks to The Big Wheezy. Of course, even without ESPN's support, fully 30 percent of Michigan is apparently on board with The Ford (sadly, a rejected blog name) and The Motor City Kitties.
(Yeah, what The Ford lacks in good jokes, he apparently makes up for in statistical analysis...)

And, finally, the good ol' Dance O'Shameful-Joy (That's the Schadenfreude-frug, for all the fine fraus and frauleins devoted to The Ford) over Freddy Garcia (and the legendary Freddy Garcia Face) getting ready to get shipped to the Mets. For Aaron Heilman. (Y'know, because Felipe Lopez and Austin Kearns aren't available anymore, sillies...)

And what's he dancing to? That'd be "Sweet Shaun Alexander," because, let's face it, even if you're dancing over baseball in July, sometimes you just have to celebrate the defending NFC champions... (Oh, wait, you wanted to listen to it, too? Well, OK...)

Thus shaketh his boo-tay, does The Ford...


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