Just in case you doubted The Ford in his belief that he speaks for the world when detailing -- in so many sad, sad ways -- his recent obsessions with hot women, cold beer, and lukewarm soccer, (I'm talking to you, World Cup refs, unless that, too, would get me a yellow card.) The Ford presents the Deadspin discussion of Italy v. Germany, coming to a 4th of July near you, thanks to ESPN's complete lack of baseball on Tuesday.

Really, this picture says it all:



Two things here:

1.) Had he known gals like that hung out in Germany, The Ford would never have passed on his numerous chances to visit DerFliederland.

2.) Seriously, no national telecasts of baseball on the 4th of July. None. WTF? Memorial Day. Labor Day, Flag Day, these are the national holidays ESPN pulls out all the stops for. But on the 4th? We're left with a hot-dog eating contest that, while certainly riveting, will almost certainly end with Takeru Kobayashi beating the HELL out of either Joey Chestnut or Sonya Thomas. (Yeah, The Ford follows competitive eating? You're shocked why?)