Monday, May 08, 2006

OK, no funny.

But maybe a little bit of The Fury.

The Ford spent a lot of time analyzing the menu at McDonald's tonight, thanks mostly to the unheathy confluence of too many Double Quarter Pounder commercials and a belated Cinco De Mayo party at Random Tequila Bar Next to the McDonalds.

While doing so he discovered this:

McDonald's apparently has no freakin' idea how to price its Chicken McNuggets.

Now, ordinarily, this is the point when The Ford would note that he has had a checkered past with the McNugget, beginning with a childhood food poisoning, continuing onto some disturbing experiences he had with undercooked Nuggets the summer he worked at McDonalds, and ending in present day when he strives valiantly to avoid ordering the little bites of death, and frequently fails.

And so he has.

Moving on...

Yeah, no idea on pricing.

Y'see, generally in the modern free-market economy, buying more of something will get you a discount. You get more things at a lower price so that the seller can make a greater profit. 50 items sold at a 4-cent profit gets you more money than 5 sold at a 6-cent profit.
Thus ends the economics lesson.

'Cause at McDonalds, buying more of things costs you MORE more per item.
For example, you can get 4 McNuggets for $1.
But 6 McNuggets costs $2.40.

Yes, 6 McNuggets are 40 cents more than 2 orders of 4.

Ah, but maybe they want us to order more to get a discount.

OK, well, 10 McNuggets are $3.80. 4 packs of 4 would coast $4.
6 extra McNuggets for 20 more cents.

But let's say you're a hungry man, dear reader, or even a hungry woman, and you're going all out: the 20 McNuggets.
Now, if you and 4 of your friends choose to share 20 nuggets, and you each order a 4-pack, you'll be paying $5.
But if you order the 20-pack? Add an extra buck on there, apparently for the box.
It's gotta be the box.

Which is why The Ford is going to take a box with him the next time he goes into McDonald's, just so he can save a buck on McNuggets. Walk right up to the counter, present said box, and inform the counter worker that he'll be paying $5 for his 20 McNuggets, thankyewvurrymuch.

Well, actually, he'll just have The Official McNuggets Box of The Official Blog of The Ford waiting in The Official Truck for a random McDonalds visit when a manager is working the counter.

'Cause, really, The Ford knows it's unfair to go and harangue Random Counter Worker X about McNuggets prices. They make minimum wage to get yelled at by normal people, not freaks like The Ford. The Ford knows this, having been a Random Counter Worker one long, long summer.

No, The Ford will wait until a manager's pushing the buttons for grill orders, and start haranguing HIM. And maybe that manager, making much more than minimum wage can use his degree from Hamburger University to explain why in the bloody hell McDonald's charges more per McNugget the more McNuggets you buy.

'Cause if they don't teach that at Ham U, what the heck do they teach?


At 12:31 PM, May 08, 2006, Blogger Fisch said...

Wow, that's way too much math.


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