Sunday, April 30, 2006

A good day:

1.) Tigers win 18-1 with The Ford in the stands (part of a planned 5 games in 6 days in the Motor City), and The Ford's brother from another mother (and father) gets in the game in the eighth inning, when the game's already decided.

2.) A not half-bad party thrown to celebrate The Official Newspaper's final Saturday sans edition, notable for the free beer and the buffalo chicken pieces and pitas with hummus. Did The
Ford mention the free beer? He may have even eaten some carrots and tomatoes while making small talk with various coworkers who don't work nights. Though if The Ford has to recount the C.V. of how he got from WSU to Detroit again, he might have cards printed up. Did he mention the free beer?

3.) A nightcap at The Official Bar that stretched well into OT, thanks to Comedy Central's broadcast of "South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut." Kudos to: Lark, singing waitress exordinaire who demonstrated outstanding knowledge of South Park, down to a dead-on Cartman impression; to friendly neighborhood beer slinger Vaughn, who may or may not have made up for his defense of Todd Bertuzzi with allowing The Ford to watch said movie in its entirety well after typical bar closing time, complete with bonus beer; to Trey Parker and Matt Stone, for making a movie hilarious (and full of quotable and sing-along-able moments) fully 7 years after its original release.

The night, by the numbers: (If The Ford insists on using this breakout style at work, it'll probably suffice for The Official Blog.)
18 -- Runs scored in 3 hours by the Tigers, on no fewer than 23 hits.
15 -- Times it occured to The Ford that the Mariners GAVE AWAY Carlos Guillen for nothing, as The Big Wheezy (or The Iron Lung, if you, dear reader, prefer) homered in each of his first two at-bats.
4 -- Detroit teams doing SOMETHING Saturday, as evidenced by the most recent page by The Ford. (See how seamlessly he pimps out The Official Portfolio, despite promising earlier never to discuss newspapers.)
1 -- Detroit teams actually watched by The Ford, despite three of the teams having games/festivities downtown Saturday.
45 -- Minutes spent looking for the house hosting the party, thanks to Mapquest's inability to distinguish between a "slight left" and using a "turnaround point" to make a full left turn.
11 -- Beers imbibed in 6 1/2 hours, which The Ford is happy to report is well under federal binge drinking standards. Unless you exclude the hour The Ford spent in transit between drinking site No. 1 and drinking site No. 2. In which case The Ford is a big ol' drunk.
2 -- Periods of Hockey Night In Canada The Ford managed to catch on CBC.
8 -- Minutes of Hockey Night In Canada spent reviewing whether a player falling down as he slid into the crease, pulled down by a defenseman, was able to kick the puck into the net. The Ford's still on the fence.
15 -- Times The Ford wondered why all Comedy Central's promos for next week's "Secret Stash" presentation of "The Sweetest Thing" feature only Cameron Diaz. C'mon. Sure, she's the star, but you've also got uber-hotties Christina Applegate (aka "Tits McGee") and Selma Blair (aka "The Girl Who Made Out With Sarah Michelle Gellar In 'Cruel Intentions' ")
32 -- Times Lark provided a perfect line from South Park, 45 seconds before it was delivered on screen.
10 -- Times The Ford was able to come up with his own South Park lines, an impressive effort, considering the inebriated handicap he was working with.
4 -- Approximate hours spent in The Official Bar.
2.75 -- Approximate hours spent composing this blog entry. (Though, to be fair, said 2.75 hours also include a decent amount of IM'ing.)


Post a Comment

<< Home