Y'know, The Ford has never thought of himself as particularly old, despite his numerous references to "those dang punks" at the mall.

Nevertheless, when he goes browsing SI's swimsuit site for "classic model" wallpapers for his phone, and the oldest he can get is Kathy Ireland, who, last The Ford checked, was peaking around The Ford's 12th birthday, and Paulina Porizkova (who played a pivotal part in The Official Puberty Years), well, The Ford starts to feel a bit peaked.

Especially when he starts to reminisce on Ireland's Oscar-caliber effort in "Necessary Roughness," also known as "The Movie with The LAMEST Kathy Ireland Shower Scene. Ever."

C'mon, where's the Cheryl Tiegs, SI?