Things The Ford learned Wednesday:

1.) When checking in with the office by phone from the bar on your day off, try to choose a bar that DOESN'T have a bartender blowing fire over your head as the patrons cheer.

2.) When signalling to the hot-dog guy that, yes, you would like A hot dog, hold up one finger. No more, no less.

3.) Walking and drinking beer out of a giant 24-ounce cup rarely mix well.

4.) Never play Golden Tee alone, if only so you can use the bathroom safely, without fear of picking up a stroke for delay of game as you run to and from the restroom.

5a.) Everyone knows that song that goes, "Meet me in tha mall/It's going dowwwwn/Meet me in tha club/It's going dowwwwn." Everyone.

5b.) Everyone HATES that song that goes, "Meet me in tha mall/It's going dowwwwn/Meet me in tha club/It's going dowwwwn." Everyone.

6.) If you need a alcoholic drink to bring you out of your boozing nice and peacefully, without having to worry about chugging a large amount of alcohol, borrow a stripper's drink. All nice and watered down, no waiting.

7.) Ask first.