Thursday, August 10, 2006

The Chicago Tribune is all aboard the anti-Wave bandwagon.

The Ford wholeheartedly approves, for som may reasons that have already been expounded upon in The Official Blog.

Normally, The Ford's not one to shy away from repeating content, but, well, you can Google The Official Blog as easily as he can.

Nevertheless, it's nice to know The Ford made the right choice in buying the Trib all four days he was in the Windy City last month.

Among other right decisions The Ford has made of late?

1.) Going to the Tigers game on Wednesday -- Sure, the Tigers lost one, but it was a helluva game, and, really, it's just nice to see all of Detroit uniting behind the blue and orange. Even if there are some morons still trying to start the Wave in the 5th inning. (Two guys were trying this. The Ford would've marched down the aisle and tried to stop them, but he was sorta distracted by their female companion drunkenly wearing a tube top. Really, The Ford's not convinced alcohol and tube tops mix all that well, but he's willing to let them try to work it out...

2.) Playing Golden Tee after the Tigers game -- Sure, The Ford didn't paly particularly well, but he needs his daily dose of failure (usually found in working with CCI at The Official Newspaper), or else he'd start getting cocky and referring to himself in the third person. And you wouldn't want The Ford to be that kind of person. 'Cause that's not who The Ford is.

3.) Attending an undetermined club nearby after the Golden Tee debacle -- Sure, you might be aghast at the sheer volume of scantily clad women, but The Ford's going to accept unexpectedly running into a coworker there as a good sign. Or at least a validating sign. Tip of the day: To get a stripper to laugh, start discussing your fear of bears when you're not wearing glasses. Of course, if you don't normally wear glasses, well, then, a fear of bears is just silly. (To digress ... The Ford fears bears when going without glasses only because, at any distance greater than 4 feet, he is unable to distinguish between a very large, very hairy man, and a bear. At least until one or the other mauls him. And thus, The Ford is fairly careful to wear his glasses at all times: No one wants to be mauled by a very large, very hairy man.)

4.) Not commenting on boobs at all -- Sure, Jessica Simpson noted that she has "amazing boobs," but The Ford's gonna hold off on talking about that. Especially when noting that her statement, "At school, my boobs were bigger than all my friends" -- complete with the lack of an apostrophe -- means she either had very tiny friends or very gigantic friends.
Luckily, we can judge her boobs on their own merits, since she's apparently caught onto the APPLE plan.
No word on whether said friends resembled bears to the myopic, though.

The Ford certainly hopes they didn't. For his sake, at the very least.


Post a Comment

<< Home