Friday, September 29, 2006

Hmm... where to start on the recap of the week/weekend that was?

Let's break this down, bullet-style:

1.) Drinking. Mostly just beer, though The Ford did decide, at one point, to drink ballpark margaritas instead of Budweiser. But, yeah, there was lots of beer, from Labatt to Blue Moon to Newcastle. Actually, that was a three-beer swing as The Ford was listening to ...

2.) Music. Cliff Bells downtown features a 16-piece jazz orchestra every Wednesday. The Ford quite enjoyed it as he was recovering from a battering bout of ...

3.) Women. (Yeah, threw ya a curve there, eh?) Yes, The Ford got stood up by his date on Wednesday. Well, not entirely stood up, as much as he was, basically, ignored for two days before the date, as The Ford attempted to lock in dinner plans. Which, The Ford supposes, is fine, since it just left him more chances to go see ...

4.) The Tigers. Three games did The Ford see this week. Only one did the fair Tigers win. Them ain't good results, folks. Still, the games were close, and the atmosphere, for mostly meaningless games, was electric. You know things are good when an opposing team's home run ball is thrown back onto the field ... by a member of the bullpen. (Todd "Rollercoaster" Jones!) Then again, every Tigers game attended means a free ticket to a ...

5.) Gentleman's Club. Actually, The Ford mostly showed some restraint here, though he did encounter a VERY friendly dancer one night after a Tigers game. He'd explain, but there's probably rules against it without some sort of age verification service.
(Yes, the older The Ford gets, the more his life becomes like an idealized version of high school again, with him drinking clandestinely, staying out much later than he should, going to too many baseball games, hanging out in dark rooms where over-sexed and under-sexed folks grope semi-blindly at each other with varying levels of success, and The Ford semi-regularly attempts to figure out if any of the several semi-regular women he hangs out with on a semi-regular basis are actually semi-interested in him semi-romantically. Frankly, all that's left is to grow six inches over the summer and go back to never wearing jeans.)

Of course, not more than two days later, The Ford hears, though his backchannel sources, that someone has been going around posing as The Ford at various clubs. OK, not posing, but they've been identified as The Ford, when, well, they aren't. And, really, it's not various clubs, but one specific club. Still, the fact remains: There is an Unofficial Ford running around out there. You have been warned. Beware The Unofficial Ford of The Official Blog of The Ford. Accept no substitutes...

And you wondered why The Ford is so big on bonafides.

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