Wednesday, April 05, 2006

OK, now that you're all scarred from the implied position of Ms. Ryan's bosom, it's time to get down to business...

The Dream is dead, part 2
Yes, Ms. Benson is going back to her hubby, leaving The Ford to lust after other quasi-celebrities and ex-strippers. How will he survive? (Probably not by looking up Meg Ryan anymore.)

The other great thing on this link? That the NYT has a story on it at all, and that they don't seem to be sure which sport it goes under. There's a clevage/basketballs joke in here somewhere, but I'm not gonna go looking for it, especially since we've got...

Germany's hot TV host
Yes, apparently Mr. Cruise is making the rounds over there, over there. No word on whether he jumped up and down on the couch there as well. Though if she did...well, it's a powerful argument for satellite TV. And double-sided tape. Speaking of buns... (OK, we weren't, but The Ford's tapped out on segues right now. Come back tomorrow for the eventual edit.)...

Five guys and their burgers
I just like random biz stories about fast food, and I really want to try one of these burgers. We need more fast-food control freaks out there.

Finally, because The Ford's feeling a bit guilty about inflicting Meg Ryan and Tori Spelling on his readers in the past week, we've got...

The Dream is dead, Part 3
Shocking, really. The Heat Dancers DESTROYED the Kings Dance Team, 77-23, despite their promise of a free car wash. Really, when you're Miami, and you can trot out a lineup of gals who look like Nip/Tuck extras, you're not gonna have to work too hard to bounce the Sac-Town gals, even if they're promising lap dances and trotting out the camel toe. Which they weren't.

Ironic, really, since the man the squad was named for, John W. Danceteam, hated Miami. Hated it with a passion. Of course, he lived in the days before Spandex, so that's probably understandable.
Yes, John W. Danceteam. The Dance Team is named after the way he would wriggle and prostrate himself for the local baseball team, the Sacrameno Bay Stockings. (The 'T" was later added in an effort to make the town's name longer than "Hollywood." Unfortunately, no one counted the letters in "Los Angeles." And you wonder why copy editors are so important these days.)
Yeah, hosiery was big in those days, making the lack of Spandex -- or any artificial fibers -- that much more cruel.

Oh yeah, did The Ford mention that Scarlett Johansson is hot? Can't remember if he did. So here's a photo...

The good folks at FHM certainly figured it out, making this the only time in my life I'll respect FHM more than Esquire.

Esquire, you may remember, picked Jessica Biel as the sexiest woman in the world.

Jessica Biel? Really? Jessica. Biel. This still brings The Fury. Jessica Biel. For six months, The Ford waited, and he gets Jessica Biel. Not even in the top 3 of Jessicas, frankly. Here, now, are The Official Jessicas of The Official Blog of The Ford:

1: Jessica Alba.

2: Jessica Simpson.

3: Jessica Rabbit. (The Ford's bloggin' it old-school...)

'Nuff said...


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