Saturday, April 08, 2006

Here at The Official Blog, there are two known facts:
The Ford likes words.
The Ford likes breasts.

And so, in honor of those two givens, The Ford presents the world of breasts, from A-Z:

(Thanks to Cousin Mammy's World of Breast Euphemisms. There's plenty more where these came from, so check 'em out...)

A Apples
B Boobs
C Casabas
D Dirty pillows
E Eggplants
F Fun bags
G Gazongas
H Headlights
I Igloos
J Jugs
K Knockers
L Lungs
M Milk cans
N Nectarines
O Orbs
P Puppies
Q Queen Jewels
R Rack
S Sweater meat
T Tig 'ol bitties
U Udders
V Volcanos of love
W Watermelons
X [none]
Y Yayas
Z Zeppelins

Now, The Ford went mostly with the terms he's actually used and ignored the ones he's avoided.
Two things stand out: 1.) in man's search for euphemisms for breasts, he falls back on produce startingly often, and 2.) despite a millennia's worth of chances, he still hasn't come up with anything for X. Ironic, really, considering the prevalence of breasts in X-rated movies, not to mention that to be female, a person must have two X chromosomes.

So, The Ford presents The Official Euphemisms for Breasts Starting with 'X' of The Official Blog of The Ford:

1.) Xebecs -- A small three-masted Mediterrean boat isn't the best euphemism, but you can at least say, "Hey, look at the Xebecs (pronounced zee-becks) on her," and have folks have an idea of what you're pointing out. So, there's that.
2.) Xi -- a pain to pluralize, but this Greek symbol (the 14th letter of the Greek alphabet) looks like a bosom if you squint.
3.) Xenas -- not actually a word in and of itself, but it does conjure a pleasing reference to Lucy Lawless, whose Xenas weren't too shabby, if you happened to catch her running in her armored bustier.

Mmm....bouncing Xenas.....


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